The Adventures of Watts and Sherlock
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In the third book, Sherlock Returns, it's mentioned that Sherlock has an interview with a small, independent talk show host. The result is described, but the reader never gets to actually see the show. So, here's the "transcript" of what Sherlock talked about.

​Ash: Hello, I'm Claudia Ash. I have a very special guest this episode. He's a man that has been talked about all over the news recently, but this is the first time he has consented to appear in a full interview. I have to say I'm honored he chose this little program, though perhaps that's not so surprising when you take into consideration his character. He is the man responsible for revealing the R.X. Sunshine scandal, has helped many people when the police could not, and most recently cleared his own name from being framed for murder while sitting in a cell. I have to say I'm honored and excited to have him on the show. Welcome, Sherlock.

Sherlock: Thank you.

Ash: Sherlock, I understand you were dead until a few months ago?

Sherlock: (half grins) Yes. It was an educational experience.

Ash: Would it be pointless for me to ask why you did it?

Sherlock: Not entirely. I thought it would be prudent to let the City believe I was dead after Miriam Sangrave’s death. I didn't want to survive only to have yet another attempt on my life. Any further inquiry, I'm afraid, will prove futile.

Ash: (chuckles) Understood. You've enjoyed, or perhaps endured, a surge in popularity after the Eckans murder.

Sherlock: “Endured” is an appropriate description. Fame does not guarantee interesting work, and it would be nice if curious onlookers would try to show the same respect for personal space to me that they would any stranger.

Ash: The eternal complaint of the famous through history.

Sherlock: Very true. At least I have the consolation of knowing I'm a fad.

Ash: Do you really think that?

Sherlock: I don't think I'll be going out of business anytime soon, but interest will certainly wane in a few months.

Ash: Let's talk about your business for a bit. You are often described as a private detective, but you prefer the phrase ‘consulting detective.’ What's the difference?

Sherlock: They are similar. A private detective is typically hired to investigate personal matters outside police involvement. I often fulfill this role as well, but I am also a consultant. I give advice on investigations in addition to conducting my own investigations, either in cooperation with the official force or alongside it. Sometimes investigation is not needed at all, simply the facts before me. I've solved a number of cases from the comfort of my armchair.

Ash: So, a consulting detective is a private detective, but a private detective is not necessarily a consulting one?

Sherlock: (considers a moment) I suppose that's a fair way to put it.

Ash: And how long have you been a detective?

Sherlock: Since I came to the City, several years ago.

Ash: Is it true you were in a Colony before then?

Sherlock: Yes. Do you mind if I smoke?

Ash: Go ahead.

Sherlock: Thank you. (pulls out silver cigarette case from inner pocket) I warn you, the cigarettes are genuine, not scented synthetics.

Ash: (laughs a little) It’s fine, but I appreciate the warning.

Sherlock: (lights one, takes a deep draw) Yes, getting back to your question, it's true I'm from a Colony. I was born there, but the City fascinated me, and there isn't much detective work to be done in a Colony.

Ash: I suppose not. Why become a detective in the first place, did your name inspire you? I presume it's your real name.

Sherlock: (nods, a small grin) My mother named me after the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes, from the 19th century, though the character remained popular through the 20th and into the 21st. I don't think she ever expected me to become a detective myself. I was quite taken with the character growing up, and discovered I had some natural talent for observation. My career choice developed from there.

Ash: I can't imagine the initial shock you must have had the first time you came here.

Sherlock: It was overwhelming, but also thrilling.

Ash: How many of your quirks are remnants of your childhood, and which are a part of the character - perhaps that's the question I should ask first -

Sherlock: Do I think I'm a fictional character?

Ash: I'm glad you're smiling, even just a little.

Sherlock: It's a common assumption, particularly after the media coverage around Miss Eckans’s murder. The answer is of course, no, I do not. We share a name, and many skills and habits, but I am my own person. I'm also not in the habit of creating cases for myself, while we're on the subject of misinformation. May I ask, did anyone actually believe that?

Ash: Some people did, certainly.

Sherlock: How utterly ridiculous. Why are people so reluctant to do any sort of independent analysis of what is presented to them? For that matter, why would a news channel latch onto a tale of pure slander, without even an attempt to show both sides of the story?

Ash: You're the detective, you tell me.

Sherlock: (short, harsh laugh) Ha! If I ever understand how greed could be such an enticing motivator as to overcome truth and basic human decency, then I will no longer be a detective. Your home country of France enacted several severe laws regulating the content of media about a decade ago, did it not?

Ash: Yes, though not without drawbacks… but I'm not French.

Sherlock: Your parents are.

Ash: ... yes.

Sherlock: You speak French to them whenever you visit. You must be teased for your American accent.

Ash: I... yes. How -

Sherlock: Your vowels, obviously.

Ash: Most people don't notice.

Sherlock: (half grins) Likely true.

Ash: (smiles) Then given that you don't imagine yourself to be a fictional character, why the appearance of one?

Sherlock: Why do I smoke genuine tobacco and wear Victorian suits?

Ash: Among other things, I'm sure.

Sherlock: Well, it's what I'm accustomed to wearing, doing. Growing up in the Colony, I latched onto the character with voracity, and by the time I was in the City, it was simply what I was used to doing. You see me now at my most Victorian, but I own a number of suits in a variety of styles.

Ash: But you never just wear, ah, a t-shirt?

Sherlock: Not unless I'm in disguise.

Ash: What about in the summer? Some lighter fashion - (Sherlock coughs, stifling his laugh) - what did I say?

Sherlock: I'm sorry, you sounded like someone from the Colony for a moment. It was surprising. Ms. Ash, I look and act the way I do because of how I was raised, my unique interests, and… well, to be perfectly honest, I simply find much of City life baffling, and have no desire to blindly follow the flock.

Ash: Fair enough. You've taken some aspects of City life to heart, though. (gestures to his brass hand)

Sherlock: (tiny smirk) Not by choice.

​Ash: I remember you had it at the R.X. trial. You made quite an impression!

Sherlock: It's always entertaining to disabuse people of the notion that I'm insane.

Ash: Did you lose the original because of the trial?

Sherlock: I lost it some time before. A cyborg mercenary ripped my arm from its socket when I started to become an annoyance to Ms. Sangrave. The replacement was covered in synthskin for a few months, but that became impractical.

Ash: One popular criticism of your methods right now is that you are a vigilante with a knack for performance. (he makes an amused sound) You clearly don't think of yourself as a vigilante.

Sherlock: Clearly. I do my best to work with the police, not against them. That said, most of my cases do not warrant the attention of the police, but I am not in the habit of stepping on toes and taking false credit.

Ash: And the knack for performance?


Sherlock: (puts out the end of the cigarette on the sole of his shoe, looks around for an ashtray, finding none puts the butt in his pocket) That, at least, is true, but it's because I enjoy my work. My flair for the dramatic is as much a part of my personality as anything else.


Ash: I'd like to ask a more personal question, if I may, because I know some of the viewers want to know the answer.

Sherlock: (warily) You can ask anything you like, but I don't guarantee I'm going to answer.

Ash: Perfectly fair. Every picture of you I can find has the same man next to you or in the background. Fan sites across the internet identify him as Dr. Watts. He has some devoted fan sites too, especially after the live feed with the snake. Who is he? Why is he your sidekick?


Sherlock: (chuckles) I doubt he'd care for being described as a sidekick. Dr. Watts is my friend and colleague. He's an excellent doctor, and has saved my life multiple times. He's one of the most long-suffering men I've ever met.


Ash: Long suffering?


Sherlock: He lives with me. That would be trying for any saint.


Ash: (laughs) Are you familiar with the rumors about the two of you?


Sherlock: I've been told some people think we're lovers. I don't understand why people are fascinated by what goes on in other people's bedrooms. It’s rather voyeuristic. We are real people, after all, not characters in a book or movie.


Ash: Fantasy, the fascination with the famous. You're also unique… and, I'm sorry, but you would be an adorable couple.


Sherlock: (stunned for a moment, then starts to laugh) I… ah. I don't know what to say, and that doesn't happen often. I suppose I'll satisfy your viewers’ curiosity with the assurance that Watts has given no indication of being physically attracted to me, and I am not physically attracted to him.


Ash: But you are close.


Sherlock: Of course. I would give my life for him. I believe he would do the same for me.


Ash: If you don't pretend to be dead first.


Sherlock: Mm. Is that a lead into a futile line of inquiry?


Ash: How'd you guess?


Sherlock: I never guess.


Ash: That can't be true.


Sherlock: I don't mean to imply I am always right. I'm still human, after all. However, I always infer from known facts and evaluate probabilities to find the likeliest conclusion. I do not guess.


Ash: (amused) Alright. So you won't answer any questions about what you were doing when you faked your death, but will you tell me why you waited over a year? Why come back now? Why come back at all?


Sherlock: (silent for a long moment as he considers his answer) I came back when I did because I wanted to come home.


Ash: I'm not going to get more of an answer, am I?


Sherlock: Is that not enough of a reason for anyone to come back, no matter where from?


Ash: … yeah. Yes, I guess it is. You're a fascinating man, Sherlock.


Sherlock: Thank you. You're a lovely conversationalist. I must admit, I've rather enjoyed this, much to my surprise.


Ash: I'm glad to hear that.

(fade​)

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